Using Your First Strap-On: Putting the Setup Together
Before partnered use, assemble the harness and toy and try the setup on yourself. Check that you can reach the adjustments and that the toy stays where you position it. This is easier to work out before anyone is waiting.
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Assemble it according to the harness instructions
Fit the toy through the appropriate ring or opening with its base securely behind it. Check that the base cannot pull through and that the ring is not damaging or excessively compressing the toy.
If the connection is unclear, use the O-ring guide. A larger ring is not automatically more comfortable or more secure.
Adjust while moving
Put the harness on and adjust the straps gradually. Try the positions you expect to use. If the base tilts or the toy drifts, check the harness tension and connection before adding more force.
For choosing equipment you have not bought yet, see harness styles.
Talk through the first use
Agree on what you want to try and how either person will ask for a pause. Let the receiving partner help guide positioning and pace. Use compatible lubricant and stop for pain or discomfort.
You can change a position, remove the toy, or leave penetration out of the session. A new setup does not have to be used every possible way on the first attempt.
Clean each component separately
The toy, harness, and any vibrator may have different care requirements. Follow each set of instructions and let washable parts dry before storage. For sharing or changing body sites, use appropriate barriers and cleaning practices.
Our conversation guide has examples of asking about equipment without assuming a partner's preferences.
