Talking With a Partner About Sex Toys
Bring up a new toy when you both have room for a conversation. Be specific about what interests you and ask what your partner thinks. Showing a product page can help, but buying something does not commit either person to using it.
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Say what you want to try
“I'd like to try wearing a strap-on with you. Is that something you'd be interested in?” gives the other person a clear question.
You can also be more tentative: “I'm interested in this, but I don't know exactly how I'd want to use it yet. Could we look at it together?”
Neither approach requires a speech about what the toy means for the relationship. Explain that part if it matters to you, in your own words.
Make room for an actual answer
A partner may be interested, uncertain, or uninterested. Ask what their questions are without treating hesitation as an obstacle to overcome. A no is not an invitation to keep pitching.
If you both want to revisit the conversation later, agree on that. Do not assume that a surprised first response will eventually become a yes.
Discuss the practical details together
Talk about who wants to wear or receive the toy, which kinds of touch are welcome, and how either person will ask to stop. Check dimensions and compatibility before choosing equipment. Shopping together can help if you both want to participate.
Our first strap-on guide covers assembly and fit. If the product relates to how you experience your gender, tell your partner which language you want used for your body and the equipment. They do not have to guess.
