FTM Strap-On Guide: How to Choose and Use a Harness
A strap-on harness is one of those things that, once you have the right one, you wonder how you lived without it. For trans masc and FTM people, strap-on play can be a significant part of gender-affirming sex — but choosing and using a harness for the first time can feel overwhelming. This guide covers everything you need to know.
How Does a Strap-On Harness Work?
A strap-on harness holds a dildo in position at the hips, allowing you to use it for penetrative sex with a partner. The harness attaches around your waist and/or thighs with adjustable straps, and the dildo fits through a central O-ring — a circular opening that holds it in place. Most O-rings are removable, so you can switch between different dildos.
O-Ring Size Matters
Before buying a harness, check the O-ring size and compare it to the base diameter of your dildo. The dildo's base needs to be wider than the O-ring to keep it from slipping through. Most harnesses come with standard O-ring sizes (typically 1.5 to 2 inches), and many include multiple rings in different sizes. All NYTC pack-and-play dildos including the Shilo and Carter are compatible with standard strap-on harnesses.
Types of Harnesses
Leather harnesses — The NYTC Leather Harness is the classic choice: durable, fully adjustable, and built to last for years. Leather harnesses provide excellent stability and can be adjusted to fit a wide range of body sizes. Our bestseller for good reason.
Neoprene harnesses — The Explorer is made from neoprene, making it beginner-friendly and machine-washable. Lighter and more comfortable for extended wear, it's a popular starting point for people new to strap-on sex.
Underwear-style harnesses — The Joque looks and feels like a pair of briefs, with a built-in front opening for the dildo. It's the most discreet option and the most gender-affirming for trans masc people who want something that closely mimics the feel of regular underwear.
Using a Strap-On for the First Time
Give yourself time to practice before incorporating a harness into sex with a partner. Put it on, adjust all the straps, and walk around in it. Feel how the dildo sits. The more comfortable you are with how the harness feels and moves, the more confident you'll be when it matters. Communication with your partner about positioning, pacing, and angle makes a big difference — it usually takes a few tries before everything clicks.
Care and Cleaning
Rinse leather harnesses with warm water after use and condition periodically to keep the leather supple. Never submerge leather in water. Neoprene and fabric harnesses can be machine-washed. Always clean your dildo separately — silicone dildos can be boiled or run through the dishwasher (top rack, no soap).
Not sure which harness is right for you? Try our harness quiz or come to office hours every Wednesday at 9pm ET.
